When the struggle is real: the road to a healthy life

Okay, I can admit as a youngen I have been the WORST eater that I know. I have a crazy fetish for hot and spicy foods. I use to make a Zaxbys run for the insane boneless wing meal like 2 times a day on a weekly basis. If I go to the store, I have to get the big bag of hot lays, hot fries or hot puffs. Greasy food has now become my frienemy because acid reflux at night gives me hell!

When I would get bored, I would go to the gym and work out or walk around my apartment complex but I would lose interest in continuing to try and get some results. I grew up being raised by my grandmother so I’m addicted to the fried chicken, chicken spaghetti and that amazing dressing and chitterlings that she would cook on thanksgiving when I was living at home.

I’ve been trying to find reasons to be motivated to make a step towards clean eating but I have to admit that it is truly a struggle. It’s so easy to eat all the wrong things because the right things are so over priced. I told a coworker of mine that and he told me that “ yes eating healthy is expensive and so is your life because you’re paying the price of digesting all of that bad food everyday with no regard to what it’s doing to your body!” I was taken back a bit by that because I know he’s right. I want to start eating healthy and make a necessary step towards getting fit and eating right but the motivation is not there.

My mind is telling me that my health and mySELF should be motivation enough to get it together but there’s too much temptation in front of me. It’s like cheating, you sneak and do it once, you have to go and do it a few more times before guilt sets in and you strive to make a change. I’m cheating myself out of feeling good when I get older and not realizing what my body could potentially be like if I put forth the effort. It’s all about perseverance and determination.

For anyone out there who is like me, find it easy to make a McDonalds or Sonic run rather than going to the local Whole Foods store to begin a clean slate with ourselves, don’t give up. Keep pushing yourself to strive for better and eventually you and I both will have the body we’ve always wanted but never really cared too much to put the work in for.


Like a kid in a candy store

Love can make you feel like you’re on top of the world. It’s like taking a drug for the first time and being so high that you hate to come back to earth. The right person will have you singing in the rain and pulling a Tom Cruise couch jump like he did for Katie Holmes on Oprah!

It’s that kind of love that will have you falling in love with yourself everyday because you’ve finally found someone who has vested time into showing you that you are worthy of it all.

I get happy at seeing old couples out to dinner or just googli eyed at one another in their car at a red light. It gives me hope that love has not died and that I still have a chance to find my King someday. I remember asking some customers of mine how they manage to stay married so long, of course I got the answers of the woman is ALWAYS right lol or that whatever she wants she gets. But the answer that stuck out to me the most was when a woman told me that somedays you’re not going to always like your partner but you find so many reasons to continue to love him or her everyday. When you fight, you find middle ground to step away, hash it out and let it completely go. There’s no score keeping on any wrongs because forgiveness should be meant and kept for what it is.

I was in awe of her answer. I know there will be times that you don’t agree with what your partner do or say but should that be validation to become so disgusted with the very sight of them that you go and commit infidelity? Too often we allow for the candle that once lit up the whole house, to slowly burn out. Doing things like dating each other over again, doing the things that brought you together as a union and keeping the magic there is what calls for that candle to never lose it’s flame. We as humans grow complacent and get bored or rather take our loved one for granted. We go chasing for that new high over and over and over again never fully achieving what we truly want out of someone. We must see through the illusive intent and date or marry with a full purpose.

Love is soul binding. It tells a story of it’s own, bringing two people from two different backgrounds together to create their own empire as King and Queen of their palace. Everything in this world is an investment. Invest in that man or woman with the intent of growing old and gray and never allowing complacency to steal time or the precious moments you can continue to make!

The culture of cell phones and other advanced technologies over physical presence!

I use to remember as a kid, having dinner at the dinner table enjoying my family meant the world to me before television and cellphones came in and took the physical presence of human interaction by storm. When on dates, people walk in on their cellphones, wait on food while on their phones and eat and have to scroll through social media or text. Whatever happened to actually enjoying people’s presence and spending quality time with them.

People often feel that just because they are there with you, that that’s all there is to it. Hate to break it to ya, but sorry I don’t concur, there’s more to it than just another warm body or a vessel just soaking up all the air. Being there and ACTUALLY being there are two totally different things if you catch my drift! I know as a woman, when in the presence of family, friends or even a man of interest, I want to engage in intellectual conversations and feel present in the moment. My cellphone does not rule over my life to where I feel like I can’t function without it being permanently attached to my hand.

Before cellphones became popular, you had the landline or you actually had to meet up with one another to hang out. Technology made things become stale and over exaggerated to where now, you can exist amongst your surroundings and that’s pretty much it. Interpersonal coversations are becoming null and void because now texting has taken the place of face to face communication like the good ole days.

How do people expect for things to last if you rather text it out instead of work and talk it out? How can families find it hard to grow close with their children but you give them things like iPads, iPhones and other things to babysit them? Society as a whole has truly ruined the authencity of human engagement and how important it is for everyone to have productive people skills. The more advanced technology becomes, the more involved humans will be in it to where human interaction will no longer be a need. Put down the devices and start living life as it should be lived. We allow for our time and days to pass us by because we are too attuned with our palm pilots.

As safe keeping, always remember that everybody die but not everybody gets a chance to live, so LIVE LAUGH AND MOST IMPORTANTLY LOVE!

Begin As A Friend, You Remain As A Friend

Falling In Love At Hello!

Two strangers with a past meeting one another for the first time. She played hard to get just to see how interested he truly was in her. She finally decided to go on a date with him and sparks flew like the 4th of July. Every other day turned into an everyday social event. Romance, swooning and bliss. Loving sporadic getaways to gifts saying I care and appreciate all that you have done. The best of friends not sure where life would take them but all they knew was they were happy and content with the company of each other.

Everyone says you should want to marry your best friend but nowadays that’s not the case. We overexaggerate putting the emphasis on “bestfriend”! I almost question if it’s a curse to fall in love with your bestie. They know you like no one else knows you. They know what makes you happy, what makes you mad. You fight like husband and wife, puppy love like teenagers and protect one another like brother and sister. That type of bond pushes you to become vulnerable wanting more than just being friend zoned. You want to love your bestfriend because your  bestfriend knows the vulnerable side of you that no one else knows or would appreciate about you.

The hard blow from reality sets in when things become too complacent, stale and the flame is only being reignited by one person. You no longer travel, you no longer have deep intellectual conversations, you pick at one another. Everything is falling apart around you. They begin texting, calling and seeing other people. That makes for things to become a little too heart wrenching because the love you still harbor has never died, it has only deepened over time. If you love something, then let it go and if it returns, it’ll never return to you void they say. What does it matter anyway when they have chosen to keep you where you started off, as a friend!

Love today has brushed aside the authentic version of UNCONDITIONAL love. It’s all about a fantasy or a list we have of what this person ‘need’ to be for us when your life didn’t turn out how you wished it would have when you were a kid. That special person in your life that you hold near and dear knows exactly how you feel. Sometimes it’s best to put the final touches to that chapter and close the book. Become a better author on your next series where the ending involves you ending up with not only your bestfriend but the MAN or WOMAN who would choose you over and over agin out of the other million of men and women on earth!

Pure Happiness!

What is happiness? Is it something that we are able to find in others or do we cultivate that feeling within ourselves? Some say that you really don’t know true happiness until you find happiness within YOUrself!

I can concur. We often times try to seek bliss in others, when we feel down and can’t seem to shake the funk that we sink ourselves into. It makes it quite hard to enjoy our loved ones and the things we enjoy doing the most due to us not having the ability to master contentment.

I heard a wise person say, “you don’t know what true love and pure happiness is, until you learn to love and be okay with yourself”. I got back home and pondered on what that actually meant. I realized how so many people use others as scapegoats to fill a void but all the while, they still feel that pit of emptiness. It’s like your soul is hungry and thirsty for something but you don’t really know what it is so you look for love and happiness in all the wrong places.

Its sad how so many people will never know what it feels like to be loved because they don’t know how to properly choose themselves to work towards unconditionally loving themselves. Don’t be afraid to be alone. Don’t tell yourself you can’t be alone. You can find out so much about yourself that when it’s time to share what you’ve been harvesting, it’ll come back to you in abundance. When you can look in the mirror and say I CHOOSE ME FOR ONCE, that is when you know you want to obtain pure happiness.


Impermanence and what it means to relationships and friendships!

“Awareness of impermanence and appreciation of our human potential will give us a sense of urgency that we must use every precious moment.” ~ Dalai Lama

With the human ability to forget that nothing lasts forever, we easily get swept up in life’s events causing us to grow stagnant and stale. In life, we meet all kinds of people from different walks of life. They come into our lives to either be a blessing or a curse but whichever it may be, we must accept the crossing and learn from the experience.

In today’s society, I am however very baffled by how little the human race have begun to disappreciate one another. We get too comfortable with the idea of having someone around that we forget how to truly treat them or stop doing what it took to get them which speeds the processs of impermanence. We often choose to push away what’s good for us and chase what will eventually leave a bad taste in our mouths.

I can testify I’ve done it and have seen this common mistake happen over and over again. I have to question the integrity of humanity and their true intentions. The body, mind, soul and spirit are to be treated like treasures but when drained of energy, the source of the supply is left famished with nothing more to give not even to themselves. So how do we accept impermanence but to do it ever so gracefully? It’s ever so simple. You must know that life has a cycle: birth and death. New relationships, lives, friendships are born everyday but the slow shattering thought of death is not too far behind it. It’s a bit of a buzz kill to experience a metaphorical death watching the person you care for throw the dirt on top of you with no regard to what you’ve been through together.

Relaionships and friendships can either last or they can experience a metaphorical death. It’s truly up to those involved to never take anyone for granted that exemplifies the realistic meaning of unconditional love. If humanity took time to grasp the true meaning of love and growth, impermanence wouldn’t be such a bad thing. It allows for one to actually be present in the moment and remain focused to the point of achieving happiness. But when there’s one person who cares too much and the other cares too little, it ruins the balance and the pain slowly drags out into the death we all hate to experience.

For my fellow readers, hold steady to those who truly care and walk away from those who don’t. Impermanence is inevitable but you can halt the process by choosing to love your significant other or your friend with the same respects of how you’d want to be organically loved!